Today was a beautiful day and I took advantage of it by riding my bike around - to St. John's and back - taking care of a few errands and taking some pictures. I picked up the most recent roll of film I brought to Blue Moon and had that exciting moment when you first get a roll of film back and get to see the pictures.
The moment you don't have with digital!
There were some good ones (of course ; ) and I have already put them up on Flickr. If I didn't take care of them today, I probably wouldn't have for a while since school is starting on Monday.
Oh boy, I'm scared of this term. For many reasons.
I am very much into my photography lately and I hope that I can still continue feeling inspired and trying new things while also working on my own personal style. I will probably be bored with my classes... They are all so serious. I will make photography my outlet. More than a hobby!
Seriously though - today was so nice, and I don't want the weather to end. But I know it will, yet I don't feel like living anywhere else. Today was a nice day for some solo contemplating while I went about my business. I guess I am still frustrated about a lot of things... Things that will change in time but I am impatient!
21 September 2007
17 September 2007
Famiglia
While heading down the ramp to use the esplanade bike/pedestrian bridge that runs along the Steele Bridge you make a turn where someone has written, "Call your deadbeat dad he still loves you." My initial reaction to that would be Wow, that's cool, if only I did or didn't feel that applies to me. I could feel that it was my dad who wrote it, but I don't believe it's true. But the statement means something to me anyway.
It sort of makes me not want to ride that way anymore if I have to see that every time. Whoever wrote that, way to shove my personal problems in my face!
There are those people out there who cannot even comprehend how someone could not talk to their parents when given the choice. There are many of them... "But they're your parents..."
And I wish I could really identify with how you feel about the parent-child relationship, Mr. or Ms. Probably-Not-From-A-Broken-Home. I wish it could be as simple as just phoning my mother or father up and saying "Let's forgive and forget." But I am the creation of my parents! We are each other's blood. And I am too proud to cave, I suppose.
I do not know if my sister really even thinks about either of our parents much. We do not really talk about them and if we do it is poking fun or negative venting about them. When asked by people why we do not speak to them our response ranges from shrugging and saying, "They're weird" to quick name-calling. In most cases regardless of what is said, the subject is usually changed as soon as possible!
It feels so weird sometimes knowing that they are leading lives I do not know about and vice versa. But they have done things I just cannot agree with and I do not want to subject myself to their unhealthy mentalities and inappropriate behavior. I need parents I can bring any problem to, whether it is something like having a problem with drugs or being pregnant, or financial, or something personal I would need advice on. I do not feel like either of my parents are... normal. But I probably feel this way because both of them have mostly hidden themselves from me, and treated me like a child for far too long.
That reminds me of my maternal grandfather's funeral. The way people spoke of him made it sound like he was such a good man and I always knew that generally he was and that he took care of his family, but for some reason neither my sister or me became very close with him (because we're too much like our dad for him?) and so I learned a lot of things for the first time when people shared memories of their life with him at his funeral.
I have tried to make things with family as smooth as I can - those that I talk to, at least. When someone says something that I do not agree with or find offensive I try to let them know right away in a mature, direct manner, though sometimes I simply feel the need to throw out, "F*** you, ah? Don't talk to me like that!"
Thank goodness for art and music... Keeping me going.
It sort of makes me not want to ride that way anymore if I have to see that every time. Whoever wrote that, way to shove my personal problems in my face!
There are those people out there who cannot even comprehend how someone could not talk to their parents when given the choice. There are many of them... "But they're your parents..."
And I wish I could really identify with how you feel about the parent-child relationship, Mr. or Ms. Probably-Not-From-A-Broken-Home. I wish it could be as simple as just phoning my mother or father up and saying "Let's forgive and forget." But I am the creation of my parents! We are each other's blood. And I am too proud to cave, I suppose.
I do not know if my sister really even thinks about either of our parents much. We do not really talk about them and if we do it is poking fun or negative venting about them. When asked by people why we do not speak to them our response ranges from shrugging and saying, "They're weird" to quick name-calling. In most cases regardless of what is said, the subject is usually changed as soon as possible!
It feels so weird sometimes knowing that they are leading lives I do not know about and vice versa. But they have done things I just cannot agree with and I do not want to subject myself to their unhealthy mentalities and inappropriate behavior. I need parents I can bring any problem to, whether it is something like having a problem with drugs or being pregnant, or financial, or something personal I would need advice on. I do not feel like either of my parents are... normal. But I probably feel this way because both of them have mostly hidden themselves from me, and treated me like a child for far too long.
That reminds me of my maternal grandfather's funeral. The way people spoke of him made it sound like he was such a good man and I always knew that generally he was and that he took care of his family, but for some reason neither my sister or me became very close with him (because we're too much like our dad for him?) and so I learned a lot of things for the first time when people shared memories of their life with him at his funeral.
I have tried to make things with family as smooth as I can - those that I talk to, at least. When someone says something that I do not agree with or find offensive I try to let them know right away in a mature, direct manner, though sometimes I simply feel the need to throw out, "F*** you, ah? Don't talk to me like that!"
Thank goodness for art and music... Keeping me going.
15 September 2007
Zip it
When you want to blah blah about something that involves people from work, you must zip it. Close your mouth. It's hard and I fail sometimes, even though I know it's always better to play it safe.
There are different kinds of circumstances of course, ranging anywhere from a direct conflict with someone you would be wise to not discuss with anyone at your work, to acquiring knowledge about a conflict involving someone you know by association and not broadcasting it all over. Since it is Portland, you never know when something will come back to haunt you. Mwah ha ha....!
But really. Portland is so small. Be careful, people. Live your life but use your head when you ride your bike, drive your car, or flap your trap. We all need to work on it a little.
There are different kinds of circumstances of course, ranging anywhere from a direct conflict with someone you would be wise to not discuss with anyone at your work, to acquiring knowledge about a conflict involving someone you know by association and not broadcasting it all over. Since it is Portland, you never know when something will come back to haunt you. Mwah ha ha....!
But really. Portland is so small. Be careful, people. Live your life but use your head when you ride your bike, drive your car, or flap your trap. We all need to work on it a little.
14 September 2007
More vinyl
About a week ago my best friend's mom turned over a collection of records to her and I got to keep a couple that she already had, both of them Jefferson Airplane albums.
I wanted to borrow another that was a Charles Mingus cumba and jazz fusion record so she let me take that too. I haven't really listened to it yet though, when I put it on I left the room and then forgot about it. What I heard sounded kind of strange though! A lot of jazz can be described as hard to listen to, at least in my opinion. Much of it could also be considered an acquired taste.
When we all left her apartment at the same time, I got on my bike to go home and her mom says, "You're just gonna ride home carrying those like that?"
I said, "Yea, are you kidding? I'm a pro."
Then the boyfriend chimes in (just kidding I love you man) and says, "Yep she'll fit right in over there on Mississippi."
"I resent that remark!"
So I don't ride around on my bike with records in one arm thinking that I look like a cool kid. It's not an intentional conversation prompt. I use the bike to get from point A to point B (and sometimes just for fun, too) and sometimes I have to carry some records with me. : )
I wanted to borrow another that was a Charles Mingus cumba and jazz fusion record so she let me take that too. I haven't really listened to it yet though, when I put it on I left the room and then forgot about it. What I heard sounded kind of strange though! A lot of jazz can be described as hard to listen to, at least in my opinion. Much of it could also be considered an acquired taste.
When we all left her apartment at the same time, I got on my bike to go home and her mom says, "You're just gonna ride home carrying those like that?"
I said, "Yea, are you kidding? I'm a pro."
Then the boyfriend chimes in (just kidding I love you man) and says, "Yep she'll fit right in over there on Mississippi."
"I resent that remark!"
So I don't ride around on my bike with records in one arm thinking that I look like a cool kid. It's not an intentional conversation prompt. I use the bike to get from point A to point B (and sometimes just for fun, too) and sometimes I have to carry some records with me. : )
13 September 2007
Magazines and the Earth
Many things about my computer have annoyed me, and made me wish I had not gotten a Dell. One thing I have gotten out of my experience with the company, other than crazy interest rates, is free magazine subscriptions for 6 months.
Yea, I'll remember to cancel them.
My first Real Simple finally came today. I have also gotten Easy Home Cooking, I think it's called, which I was disappointed in. It had nasty recipes that called for Ragu pasta sauce and stuff that like that. Processed cheese stuff. It did have some recipes that were all right but Ragu makes me think of Your mother's blood type is Ragu... Who eats it? At least go with Prego, per favore!
Mad Magazine and People are for simple entertainment. TIME is for feeling smart, annnnnnd my favorite, National Geographic Traveler. For dreaming. And exploring, in a small way.
This quote from an interview with Sven-Olof Lindblad, this guy who takes people on Antarctic cruises, was pretty good. He was talking about tourism and how there is a need for balance between the growing travel industry and its employment opportunities and preserving nature.
"Balance is the key. We must understand that people need to make a living, but in the quest for that, we can't destroy where we live."
When asked, How can one individual make a difference? one of the things he said was "Build into your belief system a real reverence for the world-nature, culture, history. Then say, 'I cannot solve it all. But'm a citizen of this world, and I can do something.' "
I wish everyone could realize that! I like to joke and call people bad Oregonians when they throw things away instead of recycling. I know, if you know me you're probably thinking, I'm sure you do.
Hopefully I'll actually get to go some places in the world... I want to visit pretty much everywhere. Why not? It's all so different. And I'll just take pictures and document it. More photo geek material! I'd just like my beautiful Earth to actually be there...
When I'm done with my magazines, they'll be recycled. Oh yes.
Yea, I'll remember to cancel them.
My first Real Simple finally came today. I have also gotten Easy Home Cooking, I think it's called, which I was disappointed in. It had nasty recipes that called for Ragu pasta sauce and stuff that like that. Processed cheese stuff. It did have some recipes that were all right but Ragu makes me think of Your mother's blood type is Ragu... Who eats it? At least go with Prego, per favore!
Mad Magazine and People are for simple entertainment. TIME is for feeling smart, annnnnnd my favorite, National Geographic Traveler. For dreaming. And exploring, in a small way.
This quote from an interview with Sven-Olof Lindblad, this guy who takes people on Antarctic cruises, was pretty good. He was talking about tourism and how there is a need for balance between the growing travel industry and its employment opportunities and preserving nature.
"Balance is the key. We must understand that people need to make a living, but in the quest for that, we can't destroy where we live."
When asked, How can one individual make a difference? one of the things he said was "Build into your belief system a real reverence for the world-nature, culture, history. Then say, 'I cannot solve it all. But'm a citizen of this world, and I can do something.' "
I wish everyone could realize that! I like to joke and call people bad Oregonians when they throw things away instead of recycling. I know, if you know me you're probably thinking, I'm sure you do.
Hopefully I'll actually get to go some places in the world... I want to visit pretty much everywhere. Why not? It's all so different. And I'll just take pictures and document it. More photo geek material! I'd just like my beautiful Earth to actually be there...
When I'm done with my magazines, they'll be recycled. Oh yes.
11 September 2007
Textbooks are expensive
I went to the bookstore at school and got my textbooks since I can charge there with my financial aid now. My statistics instructor changed the book so I couldn't use the one I already have, and the one at the bookstore was $121. Are they kidding? I'm never going to the bookstore to get my books again. I had to borrow more money but I also found my textbooks online and am getting them both for $145. Hopefully they are functional for my class! You never know with online purchases... But there was no way I was going to pay that much for the one book. Now I have found the economics book for less as well and I have these older editions of economics books I bought for $70 from a friend and I need to get rid of them somehow. They are outdated, one says 05/06 on the side of it. Who would want that? I should just get over it and recycle them. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought them... I was obviously still naive to the textbook scam. Of course they're going to change editions before you get a chance to take the class! Duh. I'm gonna end this Carrie Bradshaw style with a question - why is everything made so hard and expensive for all the people who have very little money, like students?
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