it's just lettuce.

a couple of pieces of lettuce fell out of the sandwich i was eating downtown on sunday and i picked up the big piece and put it in the bag which i then threw away and this guy proceeded to pick up the other minuscule piece of lettuce that had been in close proximity to cigarette butts and other pieces of non-biodegradable trash, off the ground and put it in the garbage and then sit back down.

?

international shorthand

So y'know how everyone uses all these lol, brb, wtf, idk, etc. on the computer and in text messaging as shorthand ways of saying something? I wonder if they do that in other countries? Like in Italiano you say non lo so and that means I don't know. So do they write or text and say, "nls"? Ns for no sé? It's probably stupid to think that it wouldn't be done in other languages.

Jumping to Conclusions at Burgerville

The Doggfather himself, Snoop D-o-double-gizzle, was in Portland on the 20th of June this year and I got to go to the concert at the Roseland Theater. It was me, my sister, Jimmy, and Flossie. Before the concert we went down the street to hit up the liquor store and also went to Burgerville.

Floss and I went in and ordered some food and Teeny and Jimmy joined us after they got a bottle. While we were waiting someone went to grab one of the drink cups and I said something like, Oh don't drink out of mine, I have herpes. (Kidding.) That reminded Teeny of someone she knew having a cold sore on their lip. She said she had a bandage on it, I think, and when the cold sore was revealed my sis said Gawd it's like the size of Delaware!

So we all laughed, and there was this woman who had been standing on the other side of the bar-style table we were standing next to, and I watched her walk around Jimmy and Floss and she goes up to my sister, who has her back turned, and pulls on her ponytail. My sister lets her head go with the movement and when she straightens up and turns around, is surprised to see this chick. The woman says something like, You shouldn't be talkin' shit! and we're all like Whoa, where is this coming from?

Jimmy goes into defense mode and steps in between the woman and the rest of us and says What makes you think we're talking about you? and meanwhile I'm just laughing because I see why she's upset, and the lady returns to her side of the bar and is still ranting and at some point this woman with kids sitting in a booth by the window tells us we should move away from the kids, take it outside--I guess there were probably a couple cuss words said and the ordeal was starting to make her nervous.

We're all like, Uhh there's nothing to take outside. But by this time all of us but my sister have noticed the source of the problem: on crazy lady's top lip, dead center, is a slightly gnarly looking cold sore. The whole thing was outrageous and really funny. As she walks around us again to get away from us the lady was saying, Just walk away. Walk away.

And we all just laughed, like, Okay! You're actually the one doing the walking away right now...so who exactly are you talking to? We laughed a whole bunch about it while she was only a few feet away from us, sulking in her stupidity. I mean, we felt sorry for her because she fucked up and embarrassed herself, but you gotta laugh at someone who is just going to jump to conclusions like that. She assumed that we were vicious people that would make fun of a stranger standing right next to them before she considered that maybe we were talking about someone else. It's not all about you!! And furthermore how old are we? Who just goes up to someone and yanks on their ponytail?

Of course that scenario put us all in a really good mood, and the Snoop concert was really fun when he finally came onstage (blunt in hand! :) ...

It's good to feel like a mermaid again

Finally, after probably more than a year of not even really knowing where my bathing suit is, I went swimming yesterday. The pool has flippers and it was fun to be able to swim with them and feel what it would be like to actually have fins. Many girls were, and maybe boys too, into pretending they were a mermaid in the bathtub. I was into mermaids though. You can guess that I was delighted when I met my best friend named Ariel. And we used to go swimming together, when we lived on the same street. When I got to the side of the pool, I dipped my goggles in so I could clear off any smudges, and then I put those on, and definitely not with Olympic precision, dove right in. 'Cause that's how I roll. Head first, consequences later!

Buon pomeriggio

I am taking Italian 101 at Portland State this Fall and feeling pretty nervous about learning another language, though I love it, and it's pretty similar to Spanish, which is defnitely the more useful of the two. I would learn either of them fairly easily after learning the other. I wish that I had learned more Italiano when my grandpa was alive. I should have thought to ask him to talk about what he was doing in Italian while he cooked, or gardened or whatever so that I could sort of understand it and how it was supposed to sound. Grandpa was all about enunciation. I remember him saying that many people (in this country?) simply do not move their mouths enough when talking. It is a little easier to sort of mumble, but with learning a language, pronunciation is key. It has to sound real.

Well, ciao.

Follow-up on "Thanks, stupid"

I saw on the news the other day that the police have been going after bicyclists that fail to obey traffic laws. Quite a few bikers were given tickets that were over $200. People commented that they think the amount of the fine is too much for the offense--"the message would be just as clear if the fine were only about $50-60." If $200+ is the amount an Oregon driver would be fined, and we want equality on the road, why should our fines be less...?

Here's an idea... Don't break the law!

(Or, live dangerously and possibly get hit by more than a ton of steel... in which case, you better have good insurance.)

Breaking Pasta In Half

When some people cook pasta like spaghetti or linguine or any of the other long noodles, they break the pasta in half before putting it in the boiling water to cook. I don't understand this and it can't be very authentic. I never saw my Grandpa do it, I don't think there is really a rational point to it, other than making it easier for you to cut up food for youngsters who need to take small bites.

You are supposed to put the pasta in the pot of boiling water and as the part that is in the water softens, push the noodles down so they are all fully submerged. When you eat the pasta, yes, it can be long and there may be lots of fork-twirling. This can be helped by using a tablespoon to twirl your pasta with. With a little practice, that traditional technique will almost always result in a clean, compacted bite of noodles. No problema!

If you do not enjoy long noodles and would rather stab your pasta with a fork or be able to eat smaller bites, you might want to try a different kind of pasta like Fusilli or Penne. Wikipedia says "there are approximately 350 different shapes of pasta." That means you have many options for what pasta to prepare, and what to serve it with. And many types of pasta are already so small, like Orzo, they don't need to be modified for cooking.

Mangia!