Already kinda disgusted.

I know I haven't been in the over 21 world for very long, but I'm already pretty disgusted by some of the things I have had to encounter so far.

Last night I was out with and under 21 friend and just walking down the street downtown back to our parking spot, it's pretty much impossible to avoid annoying people, who approach you and say things like, "Hey can I ask you ladies what you think about head?" Yes, this happened. And I quickly responded, "It's attached to your body... what kinda fucked up thing is that to just walk up to someone and say?!" And I added something like "You're disgusting" and we kept walking. I mean give me a break. Like if somebody walks up to me and says that I'm just gonna be like "Oh I love giving head!" and just get right down on my knees. Yea fuckin right. Derelicts, is what my sister called them when I told her about it. She said I handled the scenario well, and if she was there it probably wouldn't have been pretty, haha.

Today was crazy, we went to a wedding where the ceremony in the Oaks Pioneer Church in Sellwood literally lasted only like 10 minutes. There was eating and drinking afterward of course, and quite a few entertaining personalities there. The Italians. This one older dude showed up, oh my gawd I swear, he looked like he was off the Sopranos or something! He came from Rhode Island. He definitely has that East Coast accent we love hearing. Sometimes I catch myself talkin' like all, you know uh, kinda slow, keepin it discreet. Capisce? Haha.

Hey, you know what I just thought of? School! I don't really do much homework. I think I talk about going to school more than I actually do anything outside of class. Eh- whatever. What am I doing anyway?

Well, the most important thing I wanted to say is, I love you.

I wasn't just going to write that because I thought it might be kind of weird, but I thought, You know, if you don't, someone who just needed to see that some random person cares will just be all sad still. So okay. Maybe that's looking into everything a little too much. But like earlier today, I was feeling all horrible for some reason, like I just felt so depressed and didn't want to do anything (it was crazy really!) and I was thinking about things that were sad and I even cried a little, which I know is good to just get it out, but then I was crying and I thought of how I have SUCH a good life in comparison to others on this planet and I can complain about what I don't have and cry about things, but at least I have the situation that I do. I am at least that fortunate.

And then the overwhelming feeling of sadness that so many, many, people are having to deal with some strife in their lives, and for some, it's because of the country I live in! I don't know what to do though. Other than keep my thinking progressive, for the time being. I guess that the hope that there can be positive change keeps me going and doesn't let me stay depressed, but even as I type this I think about all the awful things out there and it makes me start to get teary-eyed. I read in the Riverbend book (riverbendblog.blogspot.com) about a shelter in Iraq that was bombed in 1991 and the horrible and painful ways that the women and children died. The men were not in there... They let the women stay in the shelter where they should have been more safe! Human beings were trapped in there after being bombed.

And I really need to stop talkin about that now. But I wonder how many years it would take until I might feel okay going to really anywhere in the Middle East. I mean... I'm nervous really about going anywhere.... "Oh, you're American?" is something I'm a little afraid of!!! In some European countries they probably dig us especially since we DO have some fantastic music in America, but I'm not sure about elsewhere. Mexico fo sho. Ok, time to stop talkin in general!