I've actually watched the documentary The N Word now and my feelings and thoughts about it have remained about the same.
The usage of the word is still troubling despite what people say about redefining its meaning and giving it a different kind of power, or really, stripping it of its power. But the bottom line is that whether you are using the "er" ending or just saying nigga, it is still unwelcome by some people and overused by others.
There were many different celebrities in this film that provided their opinions about it. Whoopi, Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Rock, Ice Cube... and many others. Most people said that it's definitely a word that is welcome depending on the people or family when it is black person to black person, but white people have no business saying it. I pretty much believe that much is true.
The film goes into the origin of the word, and its usage during the slave trade and the changing of the spelling and all that. The past history of this word is mostly negative, which is why using it today is so controversial. Many people want to take the word and make it powerful in a positive way, but there are also many, many people who can never let go of what it used to be used for.
One of the questions that I asked of myself, or the N-word-using people, was addressed during the documentary. If I remember correctly, the inclusion of "nigga" in a song makes it acceptable to use it in that context. Okay, that's kind of a relief. Considering how many people there are of all races & ethnicities that listen to rap/hip-hop music, it would be hard to avoid.
My potential problem would be using the word more and more in daily life, because I pick up mannerisms and vocabulary in a snap. And I am not about to start talking to people like I am someone I'm not... What's up, nukka? No. If any friend of mine who is black says nigga to me I know that they are obviously not trying to offend me, it's an affectionate sort of term. But will I call them up and say What's up my nigga? Nah. Because would they be like, Hey dego how you doin?! Or What's up cracker?.... Probably not!
In general it boils down to the tolerance of the word by individuals. Just as we are raised practicing different religions or customs, some families probably teach each other that using nigga is not okay and it is demeaning to black people, whereas others may be raised in a family where it common to hear It's time to eat, niggas!
Whatever the case, practicing respect for your fellow man or woman, regardless of their ethnic background, is a step in a positive direction.
16 December 2007
25 November 2007
The "N" word
I have questioned the usage of the "N" word myself lately, wondering why it is still so widely used when its origins are so negative.
I plan to watch the documentary, The N-Word (2004, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417003/) in a few days when it arrives from Netflix.
My friend told me there was a documentary about the word when I told her about a situation I witnessed on the bus where a girl was freaking out because of the interaction she had with these teenage boys on the bus--this girl got upset at them calling her "bro" and I said she was silly to take it so literally, I said "bro" is so commonly used, it's kinda like how "nigga" is used a lot. My friend said she had to disagree... And as the words left my mouth I realized that of course, that's not exactly what I meant. "Bro" is by no means the same as the "N" word.
So what is the deal with the usage of the "N" word? When I listen to our hip-hop/rap music of today, much of which I love, and it is flooded with the word, repeatedly... I wonder, since it is generally not acceptable for people that are not black to freely use the "N" word, but it is so embedded in many song lyrics... How exactly am I supposed to really feel a *special connection* with an artist whose songs I don't feel comfortable singing out loud?!
And I wonder how many people only practice using it because many people around them do, and if they thought about it enough, they would realize how much better it would be for the word to not be used in everyday conversation.
Although its usage is substantially more confusing than others, the "N" word isn't the only expression in our modern language that has negative origins yet is still commonly used... What about calling women bitches/cunts, or the phrase "That's gay" (which makes no sense in most contexts that is used for)?
Americans everywhere could do everyone, including themselves, a favor in developing a little more tact and class, and compassion for their fellow man (or woman!) regardless of where they come from, what deity they worship, their skin color, language spoken, etc. I personally think it is really important to retain our differences and recognize them, and let our cultural heritage follow us through life in many ways. Our differences are what make us individually beautiful--and our ability (or potential ability) to accept each the differences of others is what makes us all really one and the same.... human...!
24 November 2007
The Holidays
~*~
Holiday times bring forth warmth, love, presents, good food, drinking, and usually a substantial amount of drama. Come to think of it, in the past year, I can't think of a time that was not kind of overly dramatic. Ce la vie, I guess.My Thanksgiving was mostly pleasant; my best friend hosted Thanksgiving dinner at her and her boyfriend's home for the first time, and I must say she is quite the lil Suzy homemaker. There were a bunch of different things to eat, and you were happy and full whether you ate meat or not.
A tofurkey sort of looks like an un-cut hunk of lunch meat that you'd see in a deli case.... it's just this spherical shaped thing. I don't know how I feel about it.
The next big things to worry about are final exams and projects, what to get people for Xmas, and of course, the mistletoe dilemma.
14 November 2007
Do you ever-
-not talk about things or bring them up, or even try to not think of them out of fear of jinxing it? I do that. I also don't share things because people are judgmental and I usually don't want to hear their words of disapproval. There are only a small number of people that I feel I can share just about anything with and not feel like I am going to be immediately judged. That's probably not even true. Because everyone is judging, all the time.
Sometimes I wish I could be like Hiro on Heroes. Stop time. For how long? I don't know, at least long enough to go make myself a sandwich, have a drink, take a picture and read a newspaper article and then contemplate my next move without having to deal with a bunch of other people. I mean, sometimes I think,
What's with people??
They can be so cool and give you random fun positivity, and they can be such &#!%^$#@!&%@!! And a good way to put it would be that I have had a lot of the two extremes lately.
A few people have made me feel different degrees of horrible, but many others helped me get through all the drama and have shared really good times with me. Family and friends are so important, and when it's good people, your friends become the family you didn't have before and life can be awesome.
Sometimes I wish I could be like Hiro on Heroes. Stop time. For how long? I don't know, at least long enough to go make myself a sandwich, have a drink, take a picture and read a newspaper article and then contemplate my next move without having to deal with a bunch of other people. I mean, sometimes I think,
What's with people??
They can be so cool and give you random fun positivity, and they can be such &#!%^$#@!&%@!! And a good way to put it would be that I have had a lot of the two extremes lately.
A few people have made me feel different degrees of horrible, but many others helped me get through all the drama and have shared really good times with me. Family and friends are so important, and when it's good people, your friends become the family you didn't have before and life can be awesome.
23 October 2007
Critical Mass Riding Past
One night a while ago a huge group of bicyclists went riding past my window and they seemed to be endlessly coming. My friend told me it's Critical Mass and they do these kind of bike rides every so often to sort of say "we're here" to other vehicles on the road.
What I instinctively felt was a problem is the style in which they ride--taking up the whole lane on the only 2-lane Mississippi Ave., probably causing most drivers to be irritated and take another street to their destination.
I am a bicyclist! I'm not a ride-from-here-to-Tigard kind of cyclist but I rarely take the bus and I only ride in cars, I don't have my driver's license yet.
I can identify with the pains of both bikers and drivers and how we irritate one another. But basically if all of us follow traffic rules when we are use our vehicles, there shouldn't be problems. Bicyclists who ride in the road where cars do are expected to follow the same laws as drivers.
That being said, there's always going to be bad drivers, and bad bikers. And an even deeper theory is that stupid bicyclists are actually stupid drivers who have had their license taken away, haha! If you can't follow the rules when you drive your car, why would you be any better on a bike? (At least a bike isn't like 2 tons of metal...)
But getting back to the Critical Mass bike-ride I witnessed, my thoughts are this:
What is the point of making our presence on the road known if we are not going to do it in a way that shows we can co-exist on the road?
Why do these rides have to be a big mass of people, clogging the road?
Riding single file and being really organized would make more of an impact, in my opinion. A seemingly endless stream of bikers as you drive down a long stretch of road would still be noticeable and more safe.
Because of how they currently go about things, even with the best intentions, Critical Mass isn't a group that I would get involved with right now.
I welcome any comments or opinions others may have, even if you don't agree with me.
What I instinctively felt was a problem is the style in which they ride--taking up the whole lane on the only 2-lane Mississippi Ave., probably causing most drivers to be irritated and take another street to their destination.
I am a bicyclist! I'm not a ride-from-here-to-Tigard kind of cyclist but I rarely take the bus and I only ride in cars, I don't have my driver's license yet.
I can identify with the pains of both bikers and drivers and how we irritate one another. But basically if all of us follow traffic rules when we are use our vehicles, there shouldn't be problems. Bicyclists who ride in the road where cars do are expected to follow the same laws as drivers.
That being said, there's always going to be bad drivers, and bad bikers. And an even deeper theory is that stupid bicyclists are actually stupid drivers who have had their license taken away, haha! If you can't follow the rules when you drive your car, why would you be any better on a bike? (At least a bike isn't like 2 tons of metal...)
But getting back to the Critical Mass bike-ride I witnessed, my thoughts are this:
What is the point of making our presence on the road known if we are not going to do it in a way that shows we can co-exist on the road?
Why do these rides have to be a big mass of people, clogging the road?
Riding single file and being really organized would make more of an impact, in my opinion. A seemingly endless stream of bikers as you drive down a long stretch of road would still be noticeable and more safe.
Because of how they currently go about things, even with the best intentions, Critical Mass isn't a group that I would get involved with right now.
I welcome any comments or opinions others may have, even if you don't agree with me.
22 October 2007
Moving on...
It's been a week since I've said anything on here because this past week has one of the most dramatic in my life ever. It ended well, but it began horribly.
I have to learn to be more selective about the people I allow to get close to me. I need to ask myself, Why do I allow awful people to come into my life, and why do I let myself be abused?
The whole ordeal w/ ridding myself of a friend/roommate who turned out to be an awful, violent, and scandalous person is over, and now hopefully I will be able to smoothly move on. I do not ever want to see her again--if I do, I'd probably want to punch her in the face. (And I would make sure to break your nose, bitch.)
One of my relatives said she saw the horrible person who was once my friend downtown a couple of weeks ago, and when she acknowledged her by smiling or saying hello she was returned with a look that expressed something like, Why are you talking to me?
I only wish that I had known sooner what a trashy, tactless person I had become friends with and gotten monetarily involved with. However when I went into the situation, I thought, I don't know her that well, which is a downside, but it's also not like we had a lengthy friendship prior, so if things went sour, good riddance! (Yea, that's right -- easy come, easy go. There will always be more people way cooler and more respectful to be friends with! No tears shed over losing your friendship... I'd tell you that to your face, you wouldn't even have to read my diary. Oh but wait, you already did that.)
So I am going to get over: the heat being turned up to 90 with the windows open, my towels (rather than rags) being used to clean up a barf mess, being locked out of my own bedroom while in the shower and having to get my neighbor to climb through my window, having a bunch of immature, simple-minded insults thrown at me repeatedly, having money stolen from me, having other things stolen from me, having my privacy totally invaded, having had to wake up almost every morning to the smell of pot, not being able to use the bathroom without having a fight over it, and the list goes on.
The important thing now is to get out of this apartment, and move on. Leave the poor design and bad heating system, the ugly brown carpet, the shitty stovetop, ugly grocery store kind of tile floor, bad memories and aesthetically apathetic tenants (besides the homie downstairs) all behind and start fresh. That is the only way that I feel like I can successfully move on.
I have to learn to be more selective about the people I allow to get close to me. I need to ask myself, Why do I allow awful people to come into my life, and why do I let myself be abused?
The whole ordeal w/ ridding myself of a friend/roommate who turned out to be an awful, violent, and scandalous person is over, and now hopefully I will be able to smoothly move on. I do not ever want to see her again--if I do, I'd probably want to punch her in the face. (And I would make sure to break your nose, bitch.)
One of my relatives said she saw the horrible person who was once my friend downtown a couple of weeks ago, and when she acknowledged her by smiling or saying hello she was returned with a look that expressed something like, Why are you talking to me?
I only wish that I had known sooner what a trashy, tactless person I had become friends with and gotten monetarily involved with. However when I went into the situation, I thought, I don't know her that well, which is a downside, but it's also not like we had a lengthy friendship prior, so if things went sour, good riddance! (Yea, that's right -- easy come, easy go. There will always be more people way cooler and more respectful to be friends with! No tears shed over losing your friendship... I'd tell you that to your face, you wouldn't even have to read my diary. Oh but wait, you already did that.)
So I am going to get over: the heat being turned up to 90 with the windows open, my towels (rather than rags) being used to clean up a barf mess, being locked out of my own bedroom while in the shower and having to get my neighbor to climb through my window, having a bunch of immature, simple-minded insults thrown at me repeatedly, having money stolen from me, having other things stolen from me, having my privacy totally invaded, having had to wake up almost every morning to the smell of pot, not being able to use the bathroom without having a fight over it, and the list goes on.
The important thing now is to get out of this apartment, and move on. Leave the poor design and bad heating system, the ugly brown carpet, the shitty stovetop, ugly grocery store kind of tile floor, bad memories and aesthetically apathetic tenants (besides the homie downstairs) all behind and start fresh. That is the only way that I feel like I can successfully move on.
15 October 2007
11 October 2007
Magic 8 Ball
My sister asked the Magic 8 Ball at Gravy if I was going to get this one apartment I looked at and it said "without a doubt."
08 October 2007
Kongo Shock
I guess they were around in 1995. But I got their album, Dick Triple Flip, from CD/Game Exchange on Hawthorne a few years ago for a dollar and love it, even though it seems like this band isn't together making music anymore.
Clash not SUV
I have to say that I object to the use of a Clash song in the commercial for this weird SUV from Nissan. Ariel said, "Joe would probably spin in his grave." It was so perfect that it came on TV when I was over at her place. We've both seen it a few times now. You don't deserve "Pressure Drop," Nissan!!
Not only are they not worthy to use the Clash in the commercial, but it is also a song by Toots & the Maytals, a group I can't imagine ever endorsing an SUV, unless it was like a limited edition one-of-a-kind super fabulous Rasta themed car or something.
I want to know who the hell allowed the Clash to be used for this purpose!
06 October 2007
Grr!!!
Screw you, uncooperative and horrible roommate!!! All of you that I've dealt with!!!
"Gee Liz, you sure know how to pick 'em."
"Gee Liz, you sure know how to pick 'em."
03 October 2007
We're in Libra...
Gawd... Today felt like it lasted an eternity.
Maybe it's because I have so many Libras in my life and school starts at the same time, but this is always a fun and intense time of the year. Lots of birthdays and homework. It used to feel like all I know are Libras. Libra women.
It feels like all the guys I meet are Scorpios. I met this one guy who hangs out at Mississippi Station and ended up riding downtown with him to that choir thing they were having in Pioneer Square (you can see photos on my Flickr), and while we were riding around downtown makin' small talk and such he said something that struck me as sooooo Scorpio, so I asked him when his birthday was and of course I was right. You want to be all mysterious, Scorpio, but you can't hide!
Linda would be proud of me ; ) It's funny because it's said about Scorpio that they are the guy in the group of people who won't volunteer his sign, who has the mysterious or intense gaze, and thinks he's Mr. Mysterious but it's all in the eyes, he gives himself away. (And he's usually hot!) The women, I dunno about Scorpio chicks. Are they all sneaky?
Maybe it's because I have so many Libras in my life and school starts at the same time, but this is always a fun and intense time of the year. Lots of birthdays and homework. It used to feel like all I know are Libras. Libra women.
It feels like all the guys I meet are Scorpios. I met this one guy who hangs out at Mississippi Station and ended up riding downtown with him to that choir thing they were having in Pioneer Square (you can see photos on my Flickr), and while we were riding around downtown makin' small talk and such he said something that struck me as sooooo Scorpio, so I asked him when his birthday was and of course I was right. You want to be all mysterious, Scorpio, but you can't hide!
Linda would be proud of me ; ) It's funny because it's said about Scorpio that they are the guy in the group of people who won't volunteer his sign, who has the mysterious or intense gaze, and thinks he's Mr. Mysterious but it's all in the eyes, he gives himself away. (And he's usually hot!) The women, I dunno about Scorpio chicks. Are they all sneaky?
01 October 2007
Chuck
The new show Chuck on NBC should be a hit, especially since the Office is already so successful. In a world where an office job is highly common, it makes sense to have more comedy shows taking place there rather than a coffee shop. Instead of Rachel, Ross, Monica, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe we have Michael, Jim, Pam, Dwight, Meredith, etc. instead.
My favorite part from Chuck so far is the scene they show in the commercials where the the Nerd car goes down the staircase and these two dopey skater/stoner types are leaning over watching and one of them says, "Uh-oh... Computer emergency..."
My favorite part from Chuck so far is the scene they show in the commercials where the the Nerd car goes down the staircase and these two dopey skater/stoner types are leaning over watching and one of them says, "Uh-oh... Computer emergency..."
1st Cold of the Season... Already
So of course, since school has started, I am not going to write on here as often.
Today I went home a little early from work, because I probably shouldn't have gone in the first place. The aches and pains I was feeling yesterday are probably at least partially due to getting sick.
I have been being responsible and resting... But my throat is dry and my nose stuffed up, and that makes me an unhappy camper!
Nice way to start off the new school year...
Today I went home a little early from work, because I probably shouldn't have gone in the first place. The aches and pains I was feeling yesterday are probably at least partially due to getting sick.
I have been being responsible and resting... But my throat is dry and my nose stuffed up, and that makes me an unhappy camper!
Nice way to start off the new school year...
21 September 2007
TGIF
Today was a beautiful day and I took advantage of it by riding my bike around - to St. John's and back - taking care of a few errands and taking some pictures. I picked up the most recent roll of film I brought to Blue Moon and had that exciting moment when you first get a roll of film back and get to see the pictures.
The moment you don't have with digital!
There were some good ones (of course ; ) and I have already put them up on Flickr. If I didn't take care of them today, I probably wouldn't have for a while since school is starting on Monday.
Oh boy, I'm scared of this term. For many reasons.
I am very much into my photography lately and I hope that I can still continue feeling inspired and trying new things while also working on my own personal style. I will probably be bored with my classes... They are all so serious. I will make photography my outlet. More than a hobby!
Seriously though - today was so nice, and I don't want the weather to end. But I know it will, yet I don't feel like living anywhere else. Today was a nice day for some solo contemplating while I went about my business. I guess I am still frustrated about a lot of things... Things that will change in time but I am impatient!
The moment you don't have with digital!
There were some good ones (of course ; ) and I have already put them up on Flickr. If I didn't take care of them today, I probably wouldn't have for a while since school is starting on Monday.
Oh boy, I'm scared of this term. For many reasons.
I am very much into my photography lately and I hope that I can still continue feeling inspired and trying new things while also working on my own personal style. I will probably be bored with my classes... They are all so serious. I will make photography my outlet. More than a hobby!
Seriously though - today was so nice, and I don't want the weather to end. But I know it will, yet I don't feel like living anywhere else. Today was a nice day for some solo contemplating while I went about my business. I guess I am still frustrated about a lot of things... Things that will change in time but I am impatient!
17 September 2007
Famiglia
While heading down the ramp to use the esplanade bike/pedestrian bridge that runs along the Steele Bridge you make a turn where someone has written, "Call your deadbeat dad he still loves you." My initial reaction to that would be Wow, that's cool, if only I did or didn't feel that applies to me. I could feel that it was my dad who wrote it, but I don't believe it's true. But the statement means something to me anyway.
It sort of makes me not want to ride that way anymore if I have to see that every time. Whoever wrote that, way to shove my personal problems in my face!
There are those people out there who cannot even comprehend how someone could not talk to their parents when given the choice. There are many of them... "But they're your parents..."
And I wish I could really identify with how you feel about the parent-child relationship, Mr. or Ms. Probably-Not-From-A-Broken-Home. I wish it could be as simple as just phoning my mother or father up and saying "Let's forgive and forget." But I am the creation of my parents! We are each other's blood. And I am too proud to cave, I suppose.
I do not know if my sister really even thinks about either of our parents much. We do not really talk about them and if we do it is poking fun or negative venting about them. When asked by people why we do not speak to them our response ranges from shrugging and saying, "They're weird" to quick name-calling. In most cases regardless of what is said, the subject is usually changed as soon as possible!
It feels so weird sometimes knowing that they are leading lives I do not know about and vice versa. But they have done things I just cannot agree with and I do not want to subject myself to their unhealthy mentalities and inappropriate behavior. I need parents I can bring any problem to, whether it is something like having a problem with drugs or being pregnant, or financial, or something personal I would need advice on. I do not feel like either of my parents are... normal. But I probably feel this way because both of them have mostly hidden themselves from me, and treated me like a child for far too long.
That reminds me of my maternal grandfather's funeral. The way people spoke of him made it sound like he was such a good man and I always knew that generally he was and that he took care of his family, but for some reason neither my sister or me became very close with him (because we're too much like our dad for him?) and so I learned a lot of things for the first time when people shared memories of their life with him at his funeral.
I have tried to make things with family as smooth as I can - those that I talk to, at least. When someone says something that I do not agree with or find offensive I try to let them know right away in a mature, direct manner, though sometimes I simply feel the need to throw out, "F*** you, ah? Don't talk to me like that!"
Thank goodness for art and music... Keeping me going.
It sort of makes me not want to ride that way anymore if I have to see that every time. Whoever wrote that, way to shove my personal problems in my face!
There are those people out there who cannot even comprehend how someone could not talk to their parents when given the choice. There are many of them... "But they're your parents..."
And I wish I could really identify with how you feel about the parent-child relationship, Mr. or Ms. Probably-Not-From-A-Broken-Home. I wish it could be as simple as just phoning my mother or father up and saying "Let's forgive and forget." But I am the creation of my parents! We are each other's blood. And I am too proud to cave, I suppose.
I do not know if my sister really even thinks about either of our parents much. We do not really talk about them and if we do it is poking fun or negative venting about them. When asked by people why we do not speak to them our response ranges from shrugging and saying, "They're weird" to quick name-calling. In most cases regardless of what is said, the subject is usually changed as soon as possible!
It feels so weird sometimes knowing that they are leading lives I do not know about and vice versa. But they have done things I just cannot agree with and I do not want to subject myself to their unhealthy mentalities and inappropriate behavior. I need parents I can bring any problem to, whether it is something like having a problem with drugs or being pregnant, or financial, or something personal I would need advice on. I do not feel like either of my parents are... normal. But I probably feel this way because both of them have mostly hidden themselves from me, and treated me like a child for far too long.
That reminds me of my maternal grandfather's funeral. The way people spoke of him made it sound like he was such a good man and I always knew that generally he was and that he took care of his family, but for some reason neither my sister or me became very close with him (because we're too much like our dad for him?) and so I learned a lot of things for the first time when people shared memories of their life with him at his funeral.
I have tried to make things with family as smooth as I can - those that I talk to, at least. When someone says something that I do not agree with or find offensive I try to let them know right away in a mature, direct manner, though sometimes I simply feel the need to throw out, "F*** you, ah? Don't talk to me like that!"
Thank goodness for art and music... Keeping me going.
15 September 2007
Zip it
When you want to blah blah about something that involves people from work, you must zip it. Close your mouth. It's hard and I fail sometimes, even though I know it's always better to play it safe.
There are different kinds of circumstances of course, ranging anywhere from a direct conflict with someone you would be wise to not discuss with anyone at your work, to acquiring knowledge about a conflict involving someone you know by association and not broadcasting it all over. Since it is Portland, you never know when something will come back to haunt you. Mwah ha ha....!
But really. Portland is so small. Be careful, people. Live your life but use your head when you ride your bike, drive your car, or flap your trap. We all need to work on it a little.
There are different kinds of circumstances of course, ranging anywhere from a direct conflict with someone you would be wise to not discuss with anyone at your work, to acquiring knowledge about a conflict involving someone you know by association and not broadcasting it all over. Since it is Portland, you never know when something will come back to haunt you. Mwah ha ha....!
But really. Portland is so small. Be careful, people. Live your life but use your head when you ride your bike, drive your car, or flap your trap. We all need to work on it a little.
14 September 2007
More vinyl
About a week ago my best friend's mom turned over a collection of records to her and I got to keep a couple that she already had, both of them Jefferson Airplane albums.
I wanted to borrow another that was a Charles Mingus cumba and jazz fusion record so she let me take that too. I haven't really listened to it yet though, when I put it on I left the room and then forgot about it. What I heard sounded kind of strange though! A lot of jazz can be described as hard to listen to, at least in my opinion. Much of it could also be considered an acquired taste.
When we all left her apartment at the same time, I got on my bike to go home and her mom says, "You're just gonna ride home carrying those like that?"
I said, "Yea, are you kidding? I'm a pro."
Then the boyfriend chimes in (just kidding I love you man) and says, "Yep she'll fit right in over there on Mississippi."
"I resent that remark!"
So I don't ride around on my bike with records in one arm thinking that I look like a cool kid. It's not an intentional conversation prompt. I use the bike to get from point A to point B (and sometimes just for fun, too) and sometimes I have to carry some records with me. : )
I wanted to borrow another that was a Charles Mingus cumba and jazz fusion record so she let me take that too. I haven't really listened to it yet though, when I put it on I left the room and then forgot about it. What I heard sounded kind of strange though! A lot of jazz can be described as hard to listen to, at least in my opinion. Much of it could also be considered an acquired taste.
When we all left her apartment at the same time, I got on my bike to go home and her mom says, "You're just gonna ride home carrying those like that?"
I said, "Yea, are you kidding? I'm a pro."
Then the boyfriend chimes in (just kidding I love you man) and says, "Yep she'll fit right in over there on Mississippi."
"I resent that remark!"
So I don't ride around on my bike with records in one arm thinking that I look like a cool kid. It's not an intentional conversation prompt. I use the bike to get from point A to point B (and sometimes just for fun, too) and sometimes I have to carry some records with me. : )
13 September 2007
Magazines and the Earth
Many things about my computer have annoyed me, and made me wish I had not gotten a Dell. One thing I have gotten out of my experience with the company, other than crazy interest rates, is free magazine subscriptions for 6 months.
Yea, I'll remember to cancel them.
My first Real Simple finally came today. I have also gotten Easy Home Cooking, I think it's called, which I was disappointed in. It had nasty recipes that called for Ragu pasta sauce and stuff that like that. Processed cheese stuff. It did have some recipes that were all right but Ragu makes me think of Your mother's blood type is Ragu... Who eats it? At least go with Prego, per favore!
Mad Magazine and People are for simple entertainment. TIME is for feeling smart, annnnnnd my favorite, National Geographic Traveler. For dreaming. And exploring, in a small way.
This quote from an interview with Sven-Olof Lindblad, this guy who takes people on Antarctic cruises, was pretty good. He was talking about tourism and how there is a need for balance between the growing travel industry and its employment opportunities and preserving nature.
"Balance is the key. We must understand that people need to make a living, but in the quest for that, we can't destroy where we live."
When asked, How can one individual make a difference? one of the things he said was "Build into your belief system a real reverence for the world-nature, culture, history. Then say, 'I cannot solve it all. But'm a citizen of this world, and I can do something.' "
I wish everyone could realize that! I like to joke and call people bad Oregonians when they throw things away instead of recycling. I know, if you know me you're probably thinking, I'm sure you do.
Hopefully I'll actually get to go some places in the world... I want to visit pretty much everywhere. Why not? It's all so different. And I'll just take pictures and document it. More photo geek material! I'd just like my beautiful Earth to actually be there...
When I'm done with my magazines, they'll be recycled. Oh yes.
Yea, I'll remember to cancel them.
My first Real Simple finally came today. I have also gotten Easy Home Cooking, I think it's called, which I was disappointed in. It had nasty recipes that called for Ragu pasta sauce and stuff that like that. Processed cheese stuff. It did have some recipes that were all right but Ragu makes me think of Your mother's blood type is Ragu... Who eats it? At least go with Prego, per favore!
Mad Magazine and People are for simple entertainment. TIME is for feeling smart, annnnnnd my favorite, National Geographic Traveler. For dreaming. And exploring, in a small way.
This quote from an interview with Sven-Olof Lindblad, this guy who takes people on Antarctic cruises, was pretty good. He was talking about tourism and how there is a need for balance between the growing travel industry and its employment opportunities and preserving nature.
"Balance is the key. We must understand that people need to make a living, but in the quest for that, we can't destroy where we live."
When asked, How can one individual make a difference? one of the things he said was "Build into your belief system a real reverence for the world-nature, culture, history. Then say, 'I cannot solve it all. But'm a citizen of this world, and I can do something.' "
I wish everyone could realize that! I like to joke and call people bad Oregonians when they throw things away instead of recycling. I know, if you know me you're probably thinking, I'm sure you do.
Hopefully I'll actually get to go some places in the world... I want to visit pretty much everywhere. Why not? It's all so different. And I'll just take pictures and document it. More photo geek material! I'd just like my beautiful Earth to actually be there...
When I'm done with my magazines, they'll be recycled. Oh yes.
11 September 2007
Textbooks are expensive
I went to the bookstore at school and got my textbooks since I can charge there with my financial aid now. My statistics instructor changed the book so I couldn't use the one I already have, and the one at the bookstore was $121. Are they kidding? I'm never going to the bookstore to get my books again. I had to borrow more money but I also found my textbooks online and am getting them both for $145. Hopefully they are functional for my class! You never know with online purchases... But there was no way I was going to pay that much for the one book. Now I have found the economics book for less as well and I have these older editions of economics books I bought for $70 from a friend and I need to get rid of them somehow. They are outdated, one says 05/06 on the side of it. Who would want that? I should just get over it and recycle them. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought them... I was obviously still naive to the textbook scam. Of course they're going to change editions before you get a chance to take the class! Duh. I'm gonna end this Carrie Bradshaw style with a question - why is everything made so hard and expensive for all the people who have very little money, like students?
31 August 2007
Rules
You probably don't know who you are, reading this, and maybe I don't either. But I want to ask you so many questions, and know more about you. I want to find out if I like you more, or less. I of course, wonder if I can play with you and have you for keeps or if you would just be a learning experience, and maybe a good friend.
I feel like this is cheesy writing from an easy-read fiction novel, or I'm 12 years old again. Except I'm not... so I don't think the same way I did then.
Of course life as an adult is so much more intense. Having freedom and educating yourself, not being ignorant, and trying to adhere to the rules of society, and all that stuff. I think what I've learned so far in life is that there are rules, but they are merely guidelines. Most people can't say that they've never broken or at least bent the rules.
I try to keep telling myself that as long as something makes me feel okay, if it is some kind of positive aspect of my life, then stick with it. Even if it isn't exactly the norm. It's okay to bend the rules once in a while.
I feel like this is cheesy writing from an easy-read fiction novel, or I'm 12 years old again. Except I'm not... so I don't think the same way I did then.
Of course life as an adult is so much more intense. Having freedom and educating yourself, not being ignorant, and trying to adhere to the rules of society, and all that stuff. I think what I've learned so far in life is that there are rules, but they are merely guidelines. Most people can't say that they've never broken or at least bent the rules.
I try to keep telling myself that as long as something makes me feel okay, if it is some kind of positive aspect of my life, then stick with it. Even if it isn't exactly the norm. It's okay to bend the rules once in a while.
Milk
I think I heard somewhere that as we get older, most people become more lactose intolerant. I recognize that this may be true because while mammals drink their mother's milk for a certain amount of time as youngsters, humans are the only weird ones who sometimes don't breastfeed their babies and give them formula instead, and we consume milk from other mammals way more than our own. Isn't that kind of weird? Those lacto-orvo vegetarians or whatever they're called may be onto something. I'm not a big fan of eggs, either.
30 August 2007
Hot day...
I saw Knocked Up finally tonight. I expected it to be good, but I didn't think I would be non-stop laughing! I like this particular family of actors who were all involved with Freaks and Geeks or Undeclared. Everyone was in Knocked Up! The girl who is on Undeclared and Carnivale wasn't, but everyone else! Pretty much.
Today was a hot day and laughing my ass off was a nice way to end it, though I feel like I may go to bed frustrated, for... reasons I do not wish to discuss here, capisce? Holy hell, I am just sweating here in my room. Hardwood flooring sounds good right now.
Today was a hot day and laughing my ass off was a nice way to end it, though I feel like I may go to bed frustrated, for... reasons I do not wish to discuss here, capisce? Holy hell, I am just sweating here in my room. Hardwood flooring sounds good right now.
27 August 2007
Whistling at Target
I normally avoid public bathrooms if I can, but when I go into the bathroom at Target, I'm reminded of why they are weird. In the bathroom, there is a woman in the stall, whistling away. And she's not just random whistling--she may as well have had sheet music in front of her or something... She must really like the song "Red River Valley."
23 August 2007
Clarinet
I feel hopeful about the possibility that I may acquire my grandfather's clarinet once again, and hang onto it for keeps. The instrument is not only amazing but it is so special and sentimental to me. It must never leave the family, that is for sure. If there is one thing I would like to do in honor of my grandpa and my love for him, it would be allowing that clarinet to live on. When I originally played it in my pre-teen years, I wanted a flute but ended up with the clarinet. I was pretty good at it, though, and I think it would be cool to pick it up again. Now that I have really come to appreciate a lot of jazz music that has clarinet in it, I want to get my hands on it, pronto.
I learned how to read music playing the clarinet. I went on Saturday mornings with my grandpa out to this older/elderly man's house, way out by the freeway exit by Mall 205 or Division or something, to have clarinet lessons. For a while I really put some effort into it, though I remember really not wanting to go at least one morning because my lesson was at nine or ten a.m. and let's face it, I've never been much of a morning person! But now, if my cousin returns the instrument to me, hopefully he will also have some of the lesson books that I probably returned along with the clarinet when I gave it back to my grandpa.
The interesting thing will be to see how this goes with the family. Should anyone find out that I am trying to take the instrument for my own possession, will anyone make it an issue? Or will they allow me to have it because they comprehend the respect I am trying to show for my grandfather by putting it to use or at least keeping it in the family? That is definitely a main objective. It will be so cool to have it in its cool little case that looks like a fat flute box. Obviously before they took clarinets totally apart and put them in those square-shaped, velvet-lined cases that all the ones at my middle school had, the instrument was just pulled apart in half and laid inside a thinner rectangular one. Or maybe that is just the case my grandfather's was in. In any case, I anxiously await a response from the cousin in Corvallis...
I learned how to read music playing the clarinet. I went on Saturday mornings with my grandpa out to this older/elderly man's house, way out by the freeway exit by Mall 205 or Division or something, to have clarinet lessons. For a while I really put some effort into it, though I remember really not wanting to go at least one morning because my lesson was at nine or ten a.m. and let's face it, I've never been much of a morning person! But now, if my cousin returns the instrument to me, hopefully he will also have some of the lesson books that I probably returned along with the clarinet when I gave it back to my grandpa.
The interesting thing will be to see how this goes with the family. Should anyone find out that I am trying to take the instrument for my own possession, will anyone make it an issue? Or will they allow me to have it because they comprehend the respect I am trying to show for my grandfather by putting it to use or at least keeping it in the family? That is definitely a main objective. It will be so cool to have it in its cool little case that looks like a fat flute box. Obviously before they took clarinets totally apart and put them in those square-shaped, velvet-lined cases that all the ones at my middle school had, the instrument was just pulled apart in half and laid inside a thinner rectangular one. Or maybe that is just the case my grandfather's was in. In any case, I anxiously await a response from the cousin in Corvallis...
20 August 2007
I Love.
Bikes
Originally uploaded by liz bernunz
I love riding bikes, and I wish one of these in the picture were mine. Tonight when I rode my bike over to SE it only took 23 minutes. I felt like I went the route that a bicyclist would most sensibly take, but whenever I am on the road sharing with cars I always have this fear that they are hating me as they're driving past me, passing me because I slow them down. I worry about drivers on the road that dislike bicyclists.
I don't think I do a bad job of sharing the road and following the rules, but I know there are a lot of people out there that do. This group, Critical Mass I believe they are called, go riding past my apartment one night and I'm looking out the window as literally a mass of bikes just keep coming and coming. My friend tells me about their deal, how they do these bike rides to kind of say "we're here" and "share the road" and all that.
That's fabulous.
And more power to them, if they were doing it better. Along with "Ding ding!" (which got some bell responses) I yelled out my window, "Ride single file!"
Reading this, you're either or person who would yell something out their window, or not. I am, and it felt like it needed to be said. I'm sorry, but what is the point of saying to drivers, "Share the road with us" if we are not going to follow the rules that we are supposed to obey as vehicles on the road? A bicyclist is generally allowed to ride in the street and in doing so they must obey all the laws that drivers of cars do.
There's even... a bicyclist manual. I have a little improvement to do because riding in the street as a car does mean you need to know the rules, and, well... I need to get my license.
But the night Critical Mass rode by a theory surfaced: the annoying bicyclists are actually bad drivers who are lowered to riding a bike for some reason, such as financial problems or a suspended license. And this theory makes sense, if you consider the need to know the rules of driving in order to be good at riding.
Flying again
Another flying dream last night. This time I had more control over my flying, and I actually flew towards a car and came into the driver's sight just in time to freak them out and cause them to swerve their vehicle. And I seemed to take pleasure in that, which is weird...
I do not remember all that happened in the dream, since as usual more and more of it is forgotten as the day progresses, but it feels like I was around some people who were convinced I was going to jump or fall off this ledge, and then I just took off into the air like a bird or something and began flying away.
Dreams always mean something, in my view. I have had many dreams about flying, that I can remember, over the last few years, and each time I wonder what the symbolic meaning of flying in your dreams is.
"I want to get away, I want to fly away, yea, yea, yea....."
I do not remember all that happened in the dream, since as usual more and more of it is forgotten as the day progresses, but it feels like I was around some people who were convinced I was going to jump or fall off this ledge, and then I just took off into the air like a bird or something and began flying away.
Dreams always mean something, in my view. I have had many dreams about flying, that I can remember, over the last few years, and each time I wonder what the symbolic meaning of flying in your dreams is.
"I want to get away, I want to fly away, yea, yea, yea....."
18 August 2007
Get outta the fountain you clowns!
Get outta the fountain you clowns!
Originally uploaded by liz bernunz
I love Peninsula Rose Garden, in North Portland at Albina and Ainsworth. A funny aspect of the park is the fountain you are not supposed to swim in. There are small signs on the light posts around the fountain stating that you are not allowed to wade or swim in it, but as most of us know, people don't really read signs. And the signs are only in English. The smell of chlorine as you walk by the fountain signifies to me that the city knows people swim in it anyway, and they probably add chlorine to avoid any possible lawsuits or other disputes. What is amazing is the close proximity of an actual wading pool to this fountain, in the other part of the park, closer to the community center. I have been at the park and witnessed people getting kicked out of the fountain a couple times now. Every time I see people going in the fountain with their children and dogs, I think of all the things that could possibly be in that water and hope that the chlorine works! Ew!
17 August 2007
Ummm....
I grew up being using mostly correct grammar, having been taught well in school. Or, having paid attention in school. It is interesting to me how good grammar still seems to be valued these days, but not used a lot. I think one factor is the use of shorthand words for text messaging. Or I at least wonder if that could be a reason for so many people confusing "you're" with "your." Because in a text message, you usually get away with "ur" and it is understood what you mean. But when people are actually typing out everything they're saying, people have become too lazy or something. I see a lot of, "Your so nice." People leave out punctuation, sure, "cant" instead of "can't", but the your/you're thing is just weird because they mean different things. You are (you're) the person that annoys everyone when you correct people's bad grammar, so I don't usually say anything about it, I just cry a little inside...
08 August 2007
Is it Fall already or what....?
BRRRRR!! I thought Portland was supposed to have at least two seasons: rainy, and August? Last I checked we're in the 8th month of the year now, and the sun should be shining repeatedly and consecutively!
07 August 2007
My love...
When I acquired basically an entire record collection from Bill after getting my own turntable, it took me a while to discover this jewel of an album. Supposedly of the psychedelic genre, this album, Just for Love, by Quicksilver Messenger Service, is superb, to put it simply.It is really refreshing to listen to after being subjected to the same 15 songs over and over on Jammin' 95.5FM or the same 100 or so songs from my playlist of favorites in iTunes. Now I am afraid that I will overplay the 10 min 32 sec song I love, called "The Hat." It's so easy to just pick up the needle and replay the song again and again! I have been told that isn't good for vinyl, but hey, nothing lasts forever!
Looking at this album cover, I don't know what one might expect of their music, but this is definitely a good record to put on and just chill out to. I can handle listen to "jam rock" (like Phish for example) so this music suits me just fine. There aren't many other people I know who indulge in this sort of music very much, so I guess listening to this album is a unique pleasure of mine.
Less is more
I have made the conscious decision that I would like to cut down on my usage of the Internet, especially sites like Myspace. All the coolest people don't even have an account on there. I get bored so I like to do funny things like make an account for Linda Goodman. But surely there must be other things that I can do. I believe that I have a lot of areas that could use improvement and upon my doing so other areas of my life will be greatly benefited... But it's oh-so-hard to think about being able to be strong at a time when I have barely any money to do anything.
Can we please just go to Sicilia and pick oranges?
Can we please just go to Sicilia and pick oranges?
06 August 2007
Talkin' Smack
It has to be a natural human inclination to talk badly about other people. Some people wait to be provoked into doing so, others are totally random about it, and many people, in everyone's best interest, keep it to themselves. I'm guilty of doing it, but some people really need to just slap themselves!! ...one time...
05 August 2007
Mission Hill
I watched this animated show and I always laugh about this one girl the geeky boy meets and has a crush on. He tries to be smooth and gives her flowers and she scoffs at him and says something like "Why do people always give a plant's sexual organs to each other as gifts?"
I think that is spectacular--one species' sexual organs helping out another's.
Flowers are pretty and happy!
________________________________________________________
What Netflix says about Mission Hill:
This uproarious animated series from the former executive producers and head writers of "The Simpsons" follows a tight-knit group of slackers who work dead-end jobs in the hipper-than-thou neighborhood of Mission Hill. The debut season introduces protagonist Andy French, a 24-year-old waterbed salesman (and wanna-be cartoonist) whose world is disrupted when his geeky teenage brother becomes his roomie, along with a slobbery pooch named Stogie.
iMic
I borrowed the program iMic from my best friend Ariel and am currently recording what I consider to be a fabulous album, Just For Love by Quicksilver. Last night she said her dad, our expert on pretty much most types of music, said that they are psychedelic when we're talking genre. I don't know but they have this song called "The Hat" and I don't know how much they talk about a hat at all but the line I love is, "Whatever you're doing, you do it the right way, whatever you're doing, it's all right with me." The first side of that album was my first choice to record and use to try and make sense of this program. Audacity, it's actually called. You have the audacity to record that album?!?! I'm pretty sure I can guarantee I'll be making the best mix CDs now. Not that anyone listens to CDs... Haha, last night I stated that I don't think there would be a point to burning the the new Distillers album for me because I probably wouldn't listen to it and I said that I'd put it on my computer, so Dylan says "Don't wanna commit to a CD?" Very true... They're becoming obsolete (Music Millennium on 23rd is closing... I think that's some proof). But then, I still listen to vinyl...! Hey... It's tight. And as long as there are DJs there will be LPs.
02 August 2007
amazing.
LB © 2007Back
So I got back into photography pretty quickly and with a bang! Sort of. I have started using Photoshop, finally, and just started playing with cool effects. I don't remember what this one is called, but my lashes are like that because the mascara is turquoise. Macro is awesome...
06 July 2007
Dreaming...
Does it seem like I always choose to write in here when I think I have something really deep to say? Right now I am back to a spot mentally where I don't like to be, confused by thoughts from the now distant past and current events. What is the purpose of dreams? When I have a vivid dream it sticks with me for a long, long time. I can't shake thinking about them even though they can usually be rationalized if analyzed. I've already talked with people about the dreams I've had and done that but I continue to think about the "deeper meaning." What's sad is the possibility that there isn't one...
27 June 2007
Myself
I have always been a writer. A singer, a photographer, maybe even a comedian. But I have always been a writer. I have never been the athlete of the family, I have been the troublemaker at times, I can be very sensitive, but I am also very blunt and to-the-point. I think that can be annoying to people, and I have gotten better about being able to take blunt criticism as well as I can give it out.
That is the way I am... If you are asking me to give you my honest opinion about something, I most certainly will. Sometimes I give it without being asked, which can be good or bad.
Lately one of the only areas I have felt strong in is my writing, and I haven't even been doing that much. I have hardly taken any real photos (by real I mean, photographs, not candid pictures of my friends and I, intoxicated) since my Winter '07 Intro to Photography class.
I have been feeling a bit like a loser lately and there are a few simply things to be done that will fix that, I just need to get on it! It is so hard though. Life lately has been kind of dramatic, it seemed especially so when the sun was still in Gemini (yes here we go with astrology). I sort of wondered if that had to do with it.
I also have been a bit depressed lately because I let my mind wander and think about depressing things too much, which in turn effects my mood. Then people recommend that I go chill out with mary jane and I can't quite bring myself to do that, because when you are to that point, you have a problem. Everyone must learn to cope with their problems, sober...
When I am upset about things I talk to people. I get different points of view, reassurance, and advice. It usually makes me feel better, though sometimes the task of following their advice sounds very hard. And lately, the advice that is recommended for a particular situation just makes me sad, even though I know it is the best thing to do right now.
I have even gone so far lately as to say that I just can't wait to die. Not that I am suicidal, because sad, horrible things like people committing suicide is one of the aspects of life that makes me happy that eventually, life is over. Eventually we don't have to deal with the pains of life anymore. We don't get to experience the joys, either, but depending on what you believe, maybe there is wonderful life after death, or something. When I have told people how I feel they have said, "Sounds like you're kind of depressed." And that is probably true.
I don't feel the typical characteristics of depression all apply to me, though. I can still enjoy activities that I always have. Last month really showed me, though, how messing with your hormones horribly messes with your head. I introduced more hormones to my body, it adjusted, then I took them away again, so my body had to adjust again. The taking away adjustment was not as smooth as the introduction, and unfortunately it made me sort of an emotional mess for a while, and at kind of a bad time. But despite knowing that my mentality and emotions are altered by that, I do not feel differently about the hard situation I had/have been going through. The feelings and concerns are valid despite what time of the month it is.
Right now in my life is a time where I should be pursuing positive change, and no matter how difficult that is I must go on because I have no other choice.
Yesterday I just finished reading Octavia E. Butler's novel, Parable of the Sower. I recommend it to any people out there who are comfortable with thinking about the possibilities the future holds, especially if a lot of people don't wake up and take action to help preserve our planet.
That is the way I am... If you are asking me to give you my honest opinion about something, I most certainly will. Sometimes I give it without being asked, which can be good or bad.
Lately one of the only areas I have felt strong in is my writing, and I haven't even been doing that much. I have hardly taken any real photos (by real I mean, photographs, not candid pictures of my friends and I, intoxicated) since my Winter '07 Intro to Photography class.
I have been feeling a bit like a loser lately and there are a few simply things to be done that will fix that, I just need to get on it! It is so hard though. Life lately has been kind of dramatic, it seemed especially so when the sun was still in Gemini (yes here we go with astrology). I sort of wondered if that had to do with it.
I also have been a bit depressed lately because I let my mind wander and think about depressing things too much, which in turn effects my mood. Then people recommend that I go chill out with mary jane and I can't quite bring myself to do that, because when you are to that point, you have a problem. Everyone must learn to cope with their problems, sober...
When I am upset about things I talk to people. I get different points of view, reassurance, and advice. It usually makes me feel better, though sometimes the task of following their advice sounds very hard. And lately, the advice that is recommended for a particular situation just makes me sad, even though I know it is the best thing to do right now.
I have even gone so far lately as to say that I just can't wait to die. Not that I am suicidal, because sad, horrible things like people committing suicide is one of the aspects of life that makes me happy that eventually, life is over. Eventually we don't have to deal with the pains of life anymore. We don't get to experience the joys, either, but depending on what you believe, maybe there is wonderful life after death, or something. When I have told people how I feel they have said, "Sounds like you're kind of depressed." And that is probably true.
I don't feel the typical characteristics of depression all apply to me, though. I can still enjoy activities that I always have. Last month really showed me, though, how messing with your hormones horribly messes with your head. I introduced more hormones to my body, it adjusted, then I took them away again, so my body had to adjust again. The taking away adjustment was not as smooth as the introduction, and unfortunately it made me sort of an emotional mess for a while, and at kind of a bad time. But despite knowing that my mentality and emotions are altered by that, I do not feel differently about the hard situation I had/have been going through. The feelings and concerns are valid despite what time of the month it is.
Right now in my life is a time where I should be pursuing positive change, and no matter how difficult that is I must go on because I have no other choice.
Yesterday I just finished reading Octavia E. Butler's novel, Parable of the Sower. I recommend it to any people out there who are comfortable with thinking about the possibilities the future holds, especially if a lot of people don't wake up and take action to help preserve our planet.
24 June 2007
Brandy's photo
In my Women's Studies class Spring term one of our opportunities for points was creative presentations and one of my classmates, Brandy, brought in some photos that she had taken, and I really liked this one with the heel. I made sure to tell her so, as well as ask her a bunch of questions and give her a bunch of information about photography and all that since I'm kind of a photo geek like that. The thing about the picture is that she was inspired by a story she had read about where a woman had been raped over a sink with heels on. Each of her photos had sort of a story or meaning behind them and this one is so strong... I could imagine it at an art exhibit or something, with a small caption for people to read. Or without one, so you can interpret it as you may...
04 June 2007
emotions
emotions... or i didn't know what to call this blog and it came to mind so emotions it is. i am home from class and a day filled with a lot of thinking, lots to think about. there are many uncertainties right now, such as how much i am going to be able to see a dear friend visiting this week, how much fun we will have when we are together, how i am going to do in my classes (the ones i know i'm going to pass), how much money i will need to live through the summer, what kind of job i will do to have some summer income, what i will do with my free time during the summer when i'm not in school, when is my financial aid award going to come in the mail, will i be able to still receive financial aid anymore because i am going to fail this online class (Debbie said they have a high rate of failure!), among many, many other things.
i'm seeing my relationships with many people sort of lessen as i establish more of a close social network. which is cool, kinda, cuz i've always wanted a group to be with. but i still have so many "mental issues" or whatever that i need to work out and i feel like maybe my life is being a little dragged down by them, even if i'm not really conscious of them or their effect. does that make sense?
i think that while i am still in school i won't go crazy. as long as my mind is being challenged and i am learning new things i'll be able to maintain sanity and my mind will grow. on the other hand my mind could learn too much and it would overwhelm me and i may go crazy.
do you think about the future? i do. every day, i wonder and daydream about a possible life i could have with a husband and kid(s). i wonder if i should bring another generation into the world. i wonder if i'll ever get married or find someone who truly loves me and wants to be with me! it's human nature i guess. i feel as though i'm at an age where we are soooo weird. so much going on inside our heads, new responsibilities and lots to learn. (ugh, some people have a lot more learning about how to recognize and take care of their responsibilities. i don't like naming names and it's probably more than one person i know... *which leads to a tangent thought, writing blogs on the net forces me to sort of censor what i say so that it is both easily readable and does not reveal too many specifics. i mean if there's somethin you wanna ask me, send an email to me at alittlestoopid@gmail.com. anyway the point is i think it makes my writing skills a little better, and more essay-like. which i need to practice for, a lot! -that was not a good essay sentence. that would be a fragment, boys and girls. ) at the same time as all the responsibilities and such get piled on, freedom is achieved in turning 21. i can go *almost* anywhere now and not be denied entry due to a minor status. (yay!)
i guess one of my big mental issues is symbiotic with my physical one, my weight. i don't think about it allllll the time because when i do i just start to feel bad. but i'm not one of those, gets-out-the-icecream-when-they-have-a-breakdown kind of people. i usually don't think about it when i'm anywhere near food, which has made me wonder if i should try eating in front of a mirror and see how i like that. but then i feel like behavior like that is totally weird and obsessive compulsive or something. i just neeeed to get really active!
a couple of other things on my mind regarding myself and my image is how much i think about other people's perception of me. i don't, but i do. and i've been molded already to thinking that i should look a certain way, and i don't know how to make myself look different than the "norm" and still feel beautiful... i also have felt this weirdness about being this "white girl" in our society. not only in the interactions that i have with black men, which i'm not wrong to say have always had a certain dynamic with white females, and the spark between the two has been around for years and years now. Jack Johnson (the boxer not the singer) once said, "We eat cold eel and think distant thoughts," in regards to why white women are so drawn to black men. I love that quote, because I think he just spit somethin' out to sound cool, and it is a good quote. I dunno about the eating cold eel, but "think distant thoughts" is great. Sort of poetic?
My interaction with a tall black man who likes feet and had very large hands today was having me thinking about all that business, as well as when I went to women's studies i had my mind kinda elsewhere through most of the class. we went to this theater performance where the audience was actually asked to call out "STOP!" when they wanted to jump into a scene and replace a character to make the situation turn more positive. Improv for the audience. A couple people did pretty good, and the whole thing got me thinking about how discussing the question of someone's sexual orientation is not really respecting that person, and if you really think that they show signs of being homosexual or something then the best thing to do is express somehow that you would love them no matter what so they may feel comfortable if and when they decide to come out. one member of the audience tonight said he was finally asked by this girl, when he was in college i think, and he was so relieved someone finally asked, because no one ever had. it was like an opportunity to just confess. i would be too nervous to just ask someone, unless i had started to date them and would maybe have to gently ask if that's the reason he's bad in bed...?
well the theater performance was pretty interesting. that's mostly when i was paying attention. i guess i did listen throughout the class. i don't think i've heard the word or read the word lesbian so many times!! wow. but i learned a lot, and even questioned how straight i am. not that i think i am lesbian, but this term i learned, "compulsory heterosexuality" has made me wonder if i have just been cultured to feel straight or if somewhere in me is a desire to be lesbian? i mean i cannot predict the future so who knows what destiny brings but at this point, i am not emotionally and sexually attracted to women, i think that's what the article in my textbook says. i can appreciate that someone has a beautiful body but i don't feel that pull towards them. does that make sense? this other guy in the audience tonight said it was really hard to get his family to understand that he was gay and he was like, "i basically almost had to yell I LOVE THE COCK!" haha the host lady was a little taken back by that. she said "did you really say that?!" lol.
so women's studies is definitely a thought-provoking class, and i recommend every woman take it because if you're not aware of what the deal is, you should be... it's interesting how i have noticed that people in my life are naive to some things, and i don't think my thinking has changed since i've taken the class but it has just made me notice the naivety of others. and i don't know what to do for these people, many of them women. how to get them to recognize when something is fucked up. at least my best friend has good perception with that shit!
so in case i forgot to mention it, there are a lot of annoying people that need to grow up.
okay okay, i've said too much.
right now~"tommy gun" the clash
i'm seeing my relationships with many people sort of lessen as i establish more of a close social network. which is cool, kinda, cuz i've always wanted a group to be with. but i still have so many "mental issues" or whatever that i need to work out and i feel like maybe my life is being a little dragged down by them, even if i'm not really conscious of them or their effect. does that make sense?
i think that while i am still in school i won't go crazy. as long as my mind is being challenged and i am learning new things i'll be able to maintain sanity and my mind will grow. on the other hand my mind could learn too much and it would overwhelm me and i may go crazy.
do you think about the future? i do. every day, i wonder and daydream about a possible life i could have with a husband and kid(s). i wonder if i should bring another generation into the world. i wonder if i'll ever get married or find someone who truly loves me and wants to be with me! it's human nature i guess. i feel as though i'm at an age where we are soooo weird. so much going on inside our heads, new responsibilities and lots to learn. (ugh, some people have a lot more learning about how to recognize and take care of their responsibilities. i don't like naming names and it's probably more than one person i know... *which leads to a tangent thought, writing blogs on the net forces me to sort of censor what i say so that it is both easily readable and does not reveal too many specifics. i mean if there's somethin you wanna ask me, send an email to me at alittlestoopid@gmail.com. anyway the point is i think it makes my writing skills a little better, and more essay-like. which i need to practice for, a lot! -that was not a good essay sentence. that would be a fragment, boys and girls. ) at the same time as all the responsibilities and such get piled on, freedom is achieved in turning 21. i can go *almost* anywhere now and not be denied entry due to a minor status. (yay!)
i guess one of my big mental issues is symbiotic with my physical one, my weight. i don't think about it allllll the time because when i do i just start to feel bad. but i'm not one of those, gets-out-the-icecream-when-they-have-a-breakdown kind of people. i usually don't think about it when i'm anywhere near food, which has made me wonder if i should try eating in front of a mirror and see how i like that. but then i feel like behavior like that is totally weird and obsessive compulsive or something. i just neeeed to get really active!
a couple of other things on my mind regarding myself and my image is how much i think about other people's perception of me. i don't, but i do. and i've been molded already to thinking that i should look a certain way, and i don't know how to make myself look different than the "norm" and still feel beautiful... i also have felt this weirdness about being this "white girl" in our society. not only in the interactions that i have with black men, which i'm not wrong to say have always had a certain dynamic with white females, and the spark between the two has been around for years and years now. Jack Johnson (the boxer not the singer) once said, "We eat cold eel and think distant thoughts," in regards to why white women are so drawn to black men. I love that quote, because I think he just spit somethin' out to sound cool, and it is a good quote. I dunno about the eating cold eel, but "think distant thoughts" is great. Sort of poetic?
My interaction with a tall black man who likes feet and had very large hands today was having me thinking about all that business, as well as when I went to women's studies i had my mind kinda elsewhere through most of the class. we went to this theater performance where the audience was actually asked to call out "STOP!" when they wanted to jump into a scene and replace a character to make the situation turn more positive. Improv for the audience. A couple people did pretty good, and the whole thing got me thinking about how discussing the question of someone's sexual orientation is not really respecting that person, and if you really think that they show signs of being homosexual or something then the best thing to do is express somehow that you would love them no matter what so they may feel comfortable if and when they decide to come out. one member of the audience tonight said he was finally asked by this girl, when he was in college i think, and he was so relieved someone finally asked, because no one ever had. it was like an opportunity to just confess. i would be too nervous to just ask someone, unless i had started to date them and would maybe have to gently ask if that's the reason he's bad in bed...?
well the theater performance was pretty interesting. that's mostly when i was paying attention. i guess i did listen throughout the class. i don't think i've heard the word or read the word lesbian so many times!! wow. but i learned a lot, and even questioned how straight i am. not that i think i am lesbian, but this term i learned, "compulsory heterosexuality" has made me wonder if i have just been cultured to feel straight or if somewhere in me is a desire to be lesbian? i mean i cannot predict the future so who knows what destiny brings but at this point, i am not emotionally and sexually attracted to women, i think that's what the article in my textbook says. i can appreciate that someone has a beautiful body but i don't feel that pull towards them. does that make sense? this other guy in the audience tonight said it was really hard to get his family to understand that he was gay and he was like, "i basically almost had to yell I LOVE THE COCK!" haha the host lady was a little taken back by that. she said "did you really say that?!" lol.
so women's studies is definitely a thought-provoking class, and i recommend every woman take it because if you're not aware of what the deal is, you should be... it's interesting how i have noticed that people in my life are naive to some things, and i don't think my thinking has changed since i've taken the class but it has just made me notice the naivety of others. and i don't know what to do for these people, many of them women. how to get them to recognize when something is fucked up. at least my best friend has good perception with that shit!
so in case i forgot to mention it, there are a lot of annoying people that need to grow up.
okay okay, i've said too much.
right now~"tommy gun" the clash
21 May 2007
Already kinda disgusted.
I know I haven't been in the over 21 world for very long, but I'm already pretty disgusted by some of the things I have had to encounter so far.
Last night I was out with and under 21 friend and just walking down the street downtown back to our parking spot, it's pretty much impossible to avoid annoying people, who approach you and say things like, "Hey can I ask you ladies what you think about head?" Yes, this happened. And I quickly responded, "It's attached to your body... what kinda fucked up thing is that to just walk up to someone and say?!" And I added something like "You're disgusting" and we kept walking. I mean give me a break. Like if somebody walks up to me and says that I'm just gonna be like "Oh I love giving head!" and just get right down on my knees. Yea fuckin right. Derelicts, is what my sister called them when I told her about it. She said I handled the scenario well, and if she was there it probably wouldn't have been pretty, haha.
Today was crazy, we went to a wedding where the ceremony in the Oaks Pioneer Church in Sellwood literally lasted only like 10 minutes. There was eating and drinking afterward of course, and quite a few entertaining personalities there. The Italians. This one older dude showed up, oh my gawd I swear, he looked like he was off the Sopranos or something! He came from Rhode Island. He definitely has that East Coast accent we love hearing. Sometimes I catch myself talkin' like all, you know uh, kinda slow, keepin it discreet. Capisce? Haha.
Hey, you know what I just thought of? School! I don't really do much homework. I think I talk about going to school more than I actually do anything outside of class. Eh- whatever. What am I doing anyway?
Well, the most important thing I wanted to say is, I love you.
I wasn't just going to write that because I thought it might be kind of weird, but I thought, You know, if you don't, someone who just needed to see that some random person cares will just be all sad still. So okay. Maybe that's looking into everything a little too much. But like earlier today, I was feeling all horrible for some reason, like I just felt so depressed and didn't want to do anything (it was crazy really!) and I was thinking about things that were sad and I even cried a little, which I know is good to just get it out, but then I was crying and I thought of how I have SUCH a good life in comparison to others on this planet and I can complain about what I don't have and cry about things, but at least I have the situation that I do. I am at least that fortunate.
And then the overwhelming feeling of sadness that so many, many, people are having to deal with some strife in their lives, and for some, it's because of the country I live in! I don't know what to do though. Other than keep my thinking progressive, for the time being. I guess that the hope that there can be positive change keeps me going and doesn't let me stay depressed, but even as I type this I think about all the awful things out there and it makes me start to get teary-eyed. I read in the Riverbend book (riverbendblog.blogspot.com) about a shelter in Iraq that was bombed in 1991 and the horrible and painful ways that the women and children died. The men were not in there... They let the women stay in the shelter where they should have been more safe! Human beings were trapped in there after being bombed.
And I really need to stop talkin about that now. But I wonder how many years it would take until I might feel okay going to really anywhere in the Middle East. I mean... I'm nervous really about going anywhere.... "Oh, you're American?" is something I'm a little afraid of!!! In some European countries they probably dig us especially since we DO have some fantastic music in America, but I'm not sure about elsewhere. Mexico fo sho. Ok, time to stop talkin in general!
Last night I was out with and under 21 friend and just walking down the street downtown back to our parking spot, it's pretty much impossible to avoid annoying people, who approach you and say things like, "Hey can I ask you ladies what you think about head?" Yes, this happened. And I quickly responded, "It's attached to your body... what kinda fucked up thing is that to just walk up to someone and say?!" And I added something like "You're disgusting" and we kept walking. I mean give me a break. Like if somebody walks up to me and says that I'm just gonna be like "Oh I love giving head!" and just get right down on my knees. Yea fuckin right. Derelicts, is what my sister called them when I told her about it. She said I handled the scenario well, and if she was there it probably wouldn't have been pretty, haha.
Today was crazy, we went to a wedding where the ceremony in the Oaks Pioneer Church in Sellwood literally lasted only like 10 minutes. There was eating and drinking afterward of course, and quite a few entertaining personalities there. The Italians. This one older dude showed up, oh my gawd I swear, he looked like he was off the Sopranos or something! He came from Rhode Island. He definitely has that East Coast accent we love hearing. Sometimes I catch myself talkin' like all, you know uh, kinda slow, keepin it discreet. Capisce? Haha.
Hey, you know what I just thought of? School! I don't really do much homework. I think I talk about going to school more than I actually do anything outside of class. Eh- whatever. What am I doing anyway?
Well, the most important thing I wanted to say is, I love you.
I wasn't just going to write that because I thought it might be kind of weird, but I thought, You know, if you don't, someone who just needed to see that some random person cares will just be all sad still. So okay. Maybe that's looking into everything a little too much. But like earlier today, I was feeling all horrible for some reason, like I just felt so depressed and didn't want to do anything (it was crazy really!) and I was thinking about things that were sad and I even cried a little, which I know is good to just get it out, but then I was crying and I thought of how I have SUCH a good life in comparison to others on this planet and I can complain about what I don't have and cry about things, but at least I have the situation that I do. I am at least that fortunate.
And then the overwhelming feeling of sadness that so many, many, people are having to deal with some strife in their lives, and for some, it's because of the country I live in! I don't know what to do though. Other than keep my thinking progressive, for the time being. I guess that the hope that there can be positive change keeps me going and doesn't let me stay depressed, but even as I type this I think about all the awful things out there and it makes me start to get teary-eyed. I read in the Riverbend book (riverbendblog.blogspot.com) about a shelter in Iraq that was bombed in 1991 and the horrible and painful ways that the women and children died. The men were not in there... They let the women stay in the shelter where they should have been more safe! Human beings were trapped in there after being bombed.
And I really need to stop talkin about that now. But I wonder how many years it would take until I might feel okay going to really anywhere in the Middle East. I mean... I'm nervous really about going anywhere.... "Oh, you're American?" is something I'm a little afraid of!!! In some European countries they probably dig us especially since we DO have some fantastic music in America, but I'm not sure about elsewhere. Mexico fo sho. Ok, time to stop talkin in general!
13 May 2007
kinda stupid boring entry
Last night was funny--we tried to go to a show and we were a week early. I don't know why I was under the impression that it was supposed to be last night. So we went back to Nopo and got some Popeye's, which made me think of the hilarious blog entry, "Jesus went to Popeye's" from http://jesuschristscoolblog.blogspot.com/
My friend put the entry on his Myspace blog and I was practically shitting myself laughing. I used to be religious, Catholic to be specific, and having gone through all that I can really appreciate some humor about religion. And I don't think of anything as sac religious because I don't even participate in the whole charade anymore. It's amazing how many years I did!
Got the Popeye's, stopped by the crackhead sketchy Chevron at Fremont & MLK to get somethin to drink, left in one piece from there and headed back to my place. We started to watch this Cold Feet show, which I think my previous roommate put on my Netflix queue, but I found it funny anyway. Probably won't get really into it, but still, the British sure have a way of making domestic home life hilarious. Maybe I still just laugh because of their accents. But I really like some British shows... Like Keeping Up Appearances =]
My new roomie and friend got home with our other friend from grocery shoppin' so I turned off the show cuz we weren't paying attention anyway. You should see my living room now, it definitely looks better than it used to. It just has more cute things. I may put an ad on Craigslist pretty soon here to sell my couch and coffee table, because the homie has better furniture. And I feel like we will be staying here for a minute, probably longer than I'd originally hoped, but oh well. It's so cheap to live here.
All in all I'm happy so far. So nice to have someone livin with me that will be into aesthetics. It looks like 400% more girly in the apartment, haha.
Today's Mother's Day... I got her a nice bar of dark chocolate, a bottle of wine, and some pepper, all from down the street. Only $31 total spent I think. I really like supporting local businesses. The only thing I didn't like was at the nursery down the street, I wanted to buy a few things and the lady was totally talking to me and then these other people from Canada came up and were asking about camellias or something and paying ahead of time, and they got into this convo about getting plants across the Canadian border and I was just kinda like, Um, she was already helping me, eh? But it's not the people's fault, the woman who worked there should've just taken care of me real quick and then helped them.
Most of the time I am really outspoken but when I go to places of business I'm hesitant to speak up and be a slightly angry, demanding customer because I don't want people to cringe when I come back... I dunno, it's kinda ridiculous to settle for poor service though. It's just so hard to speak up! I don't know how people will react.
Well I'll finish up with something to be excited about, and that is the presence of Slightly Stoopid in Oregon on August 8, I think. At McMenamin's Edgefield. I'm pretty sure I will get to go, but I haven't bought tickets yet because I want to make sure we can get there and back! It is, after all, in Troutdale, and I don't have a car.
In case you're a random person reading this, I really like this band, hence the name of the blog. I'd consider myself a "stoopidhead."
My friend put the entry on his Myspace blog and I was practically shitting myself laughing. I used to be religious, Catholic to be specific, and having gone through all that I can really appreciate some humor about religion. And I don't think of anything as sac religious because I don't even participate in the whole charade anymore. It's amazing how many years I did!
Got the Popeye's, stopped by the crackhead sketchy Chevron at Fremont & MLK to get somethin to drink, left in one piece from there and headed back to my place. We started to watch this Cold Feet show, which I think my previous roommate put on my Netflix queue, but I found it funny anyway. Probably won't get really into it, but still, the British sure have a way of making domestic home life hilarious. Maybe I still just laugh because of their accents. But I really like some British shows... Like Keeping Up Appearances =]
My new roomie and friend got home with our other friend from grocery shoppin' so I turned off the show cuz we weren't paying attention anyway. You should see my living room now, it definitely looks better than it used to. It just has more cute things. I may put an ad on Craigslist pretty soon here to sell my couch and coffee table, because the homie has better furniture. And I feel like we will be staying here for a minute, probably longer than I'd originally hoped, but oh well. It's so cheap to live here.
All in all I'm happy so far. So nice to have someone livin with me that will be into aesthetics. It looks like 400% more girly in the apartment, haha.
Today's Mother's Day... I got her a nice bar of dark chocolate, a bottle of wine, and some pepper, all from down the street. Only $31 total spent I think. I really like supporting local businesses. The only thing I didn't like was at the nursery down the street, I wanted to buy a few things and the lady was totally talking to me and then these other people from Canada came up and were asking about camellias or something and paying ahead of time, and they got into this convo about getting plants across the Canadian border and I was just kinda like, Um, she was already helping me, eh? But it's not the people's fault, the woman who worked there should've just taken care of me real quick and then helped them.
Most of the time I am really outspoken but when I go to places of business I'm hesitant to speak up and be a slightly angry, demanding customer because I don't want people to cringe when I come back... I dunno, it's kinda ridiculous to settle for poor service though. It's just so hard to speak up! I don't know how people will react.
Well I'll finish up with something to be excited about, and that is the presence of Slightly Stoopid in Oregon on August 8, I think. At McMenamin's Edgefield. I'm pretty sure I will get to go, but I haven't bought tickets yet because I want to make sure we can get there and back! It is, after all, in Troutdale, and I don't have a car.
In case you're a random person reading this, I really like this band, hence the name of the blog. I'd consider myself a "stoopidhead."
09 May 2007
What does $456 billion buy?
Someone posted this as a bulletin on Myspace, and I didn't check out the source but since there is one I decided to post it here...
While there is some disagreement on the idea of troop deadlines for US soldiers in Iraq, all sides seem to be on board with the amount included in the bill to fund the war.
Including the $124.2 billion bill, the total cost of the Iraq war may reach $456 billion in September, according to the National Priorities Project, an organization that tracks public spending.
The amount got us wondering: What would $456 billion buy?
1) 2,949 Newton North High Schools
Tagged as the most expensive high school in Massachusetts, at $154.6 million, Newton North High School could be replicated almost 3,000 times using the money spent on the war.
2) 30 Big Digs
At almost $15 billion, Boston's Central Artery project has been held up as the nation's most expensive public works project. Now multiply that by 30 and you're getting close to US taxpayer’s commitment to democracy in Iraq… so far.
3)Free gas for everybody for 1.2 years
US drivers consume approximately 384.7 million gallons of gasoline a day. Retail prices averaged $2.64 a gallon in 2006. Breaking it down, $456 billion could buy gasoline for everybody in the United States, for about 449 days.
4) Or go green (with ethanol)
With just one-sixth of the US money targeted for the Iraq war, you could convert all cars in America to run on ethanol.
TheBudgetGraph.com estimates that converting the 136,568,083 registered cars in the United States to ethanol (conversion kits at $500) would cost $68.2 billion.
5) 14.5 million years through Harvard (44 million at UMass)
At published rates for next year, $456 billion translates into 14.5 million free rides for a year at Harvard; 44 million at UMass.
6)Medicare benefits for one year
In fiscal 2008, Medicare benefits will total $454 billion, according to a Heritage Foundation summary.
7)A LONG-term contract
The Red Sox and Daisuke Matsuzaka agreed on a six-year, $52 million contract. The war cost could be enough to have Dice-K mania for another 52,615 years at this year's rate.
8) Need more perspective?
According to World Bank estimates, $54 billion a year would eliminate starvation and malnutrition globally by 2015, while $30 billion would provide a year of primary education for every child on earth.
At the upper range of those estimates, the $456 billion cost of the war could have fed and educated the world's poor for five and a half years.
SOURCE:
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/gallery/050207_TheCostofWar/
While there is some disagreement on the idea of troop deadlines for US soldiers in Iraq, all sides seem to be on board with the amount included in the bill to fund the war.
Including the $124.2 billion bill, the total cost of the Iraq war may reach $456 billion in September, according to the National Priorities Project, an organization that tracks public spending.
The amount got us wondering: What would $456 billion buy?
1) 2,949 Newton North High Schools
Tagged as the most expensive high school in Massachusetts, at $154.6 million, Newton North High School could be replicated almost 3,000 times using the money spent on the war.
2) 30 Big Digs
At almost $15 billion, Boston's Central Artery project has been held up as the nation's most expensive public works project. Now multiply that by 30 and you're getting close to US taxpayer’s commitment to democracy in Iraq… so far.
3)Free gas for everybody for 1.2 years
US drivers consume approximately 384.7 million gallons of gasoline a day. Retail prices averaged $2.64 a gallon in 2006. Breaking it down, $456 billion could buy gasoline for everybody in the United States, for about 449 days.
4) Or go green (with ethanol)
With just one-sixth of the US money targeted for the Iraq war, you could convert all cars in America to run on ethanol.
TheBudgetGraph.com estimates that converting the 136,568,083 registered cars in the United States to ethanol (conversion kits at $500) would cost $68.2 billion.
5) 14.5 million years through Harvard (44 million at UMass)
At published rates for next year, $456 billion translates into 14.5 million free rides for a year at Harvard; 44 million at UMass.
6)Medicare benefits for one year
In fiscal 2008, Medicare benefits will total $454 billion, according to a Heritage Foundation summary.
7)A LONG-term contract
The Red Sox and Daisuke Matsuzaka agreed on a six-year, $52 million contract. The war cost could be enough to have Dice-K mania for another 52,615 years at this year's rate.
8) Need more perspective?
According to World Bank estimates, $54 billion a year would eliminate starvation and malnutrition globally by 2015, while $30 billion would provide a year of primary education for every child on earth.
At the upper range of those estimates, the $456 billion cost of the war could have fed and educated the world's poor for five and a half years.
SOURCE:
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/gallery/050207_TheCostofWar/
First entry
05/09/07
5:41pm
My internet connection is free wireless in my neighborhood and it is not working right now or my computer can’t connect, so I’ll probably be really posting this later tonight. Welcome to reading my thoughts that I share with you on the internet. Haha. Anyone in the world can see this. All around the globe, everyone can make their own assessment about me based on what I write here. They’ll probably all think the same thing… “This girl’s funny!” Just kidding, more like “What a weirdo!”
Well I was inspired to create an account on this site because I have been reading Baghdad Burning, Riverbend’s blog. (Riverbendblog.blogspot.com) I was previously a Livejournal user. But I want a fresh start.
Reading Riverbend’s blog, the first couple years of it in the book, Baghdad Burning- Girl Blog from
Even though a lot of the things I read about in the book that are happening to the Iraqi people makes me sick to my stomach, I would rather read about it and know, than not know what is going on or have any idea what it is like to live there, and be ignorant. Yea, they say “ignorance is bliss” but you can only ignore the circumstances for so long…
My group in Women’s Studies class gave a presentation where each of us talked about a theme that we followed in the book, and I talked about the unemployment. It’s really sad, because there are so many people out of work that are such brilliant minds. But the jobs aren’t available because so many are done by foreign companies.
There’s so much more I’d like to say about it all but I have to go pretty soon. Today I set up my bedroom again how it was before because the Shenanigans are going to begin this weekend. It will be nice, I think, to not live alone… It’s kinda weird sometimes.
I also had Biology lab today… And it would’ve helped me today if I had gotten a better grade on our second exam. I’m just really not interested in studying this term. My life revolves around school…
Actually I do enjoy my classes sometimes. Not math. But Women’s Studies is interesting, I mean sometimes it’s really intense, or some nights I’m just not into it because it’s the longest class I’ve ever had.
I had never seen the movie Eyes Wide Shut and I began watching it last night. I am getting better about making it through a whole movie in one sitting, but I didn’t finish it last night, I fell asleep.
Movies to watch, friends to see, music to listen to, homework not to do… =]
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